Unlike my fellow co-hosts, I was not incubated in the warm glow of a fernel studio light, rather pulled from the lawless frontier some call 'The Internet'. As such, I've needed some grooming to better comport myself amongst the others. Not that I'm trying to put down my home and native land (The Internet), but we do tend to take a very lax attitude when approaching our interviews and on-location segments. Shaving, for instance, is generally a question of  'if I feel like it', whereas clothing options consist of black hoodie or black hoodie with a Foo Fighters logo on it.

If you're ever at a press junket you can pick out us internet guys by the way we act. Generally pocketing all visible complimentary food, making snide remarks about the most prominent personality there and just giving off a weird odor (we rarely bathe, all our money is diverted to server bills). Suffice it to say, we're not very professional, ergo, not very successful.

That being said, I also feel that television is a rather dated concept with some pretty archaic practices. So what I've done is taken the hipster vibe of the internet and combined it with the etiquette of the television business. Hopefully, this will act as a primer for those who are looking to do better in the industry:
 
1) Always be on time. Probably the most common piece of advice you'll be given. However, as someone looking to be successful in television there should be nothing common about you. Thus, being "on time" means on "your" time. And I'm not talking about fashionably late either, I'm talking about reinforcing to people that you're important enough to wait for. Do you think Madonna's concerts go on without her? Hell no! In her mind the world doesn't even rotate unless she says its okay. Which she always does, hence it always does.

2) Critical Opposition = Progressive Opinion. Nothing will blend you into a crowd more than agreeing with everyone else. Which is why it's crucial to strongly dislike things people you work with passively enjoy. For instance, I don't live in Toronto. Everyone else I work with does. So, not only do I hate Toronto, I also hate its poorly managed black-hole-of-a-transportation system that I put up with every time I come into work. Doesn't matter if I actually believe in this or not, as long as I keep re-enforcing this, others will not only remember me as being negative and a complainer, but also as someone who stands out of the crown with strong opinions; to put it simply, a personality that can be canned and packaged for television.

3) Accessories make all the difference. The wrong train of thought is to assume everyone in television dresses sharply. This is completely incorrect; a television studio has, per capita, more people wearing Motley Crüe t-shirts and Budweiser baseball caps then all sporting events in the United States combined. It's actually a badge of success to dress the most hobo-like (see John Mayer). That being said, what sets John apart from the other homeless are the little trinkets he decks himself out in. It's a known fact the man has two iPhones (one for each ear), two blackberries to balance his center of gravity walking and a utility belt of Starbucks coffee cups.

In fact, being seen with a cup of Starbucks coffee everyday can make a huge difference in respect to your success status. Starbucks is expensive, so to have it everyday must mean you're flush with money. Therefore its crucial you're seen coming out of said establishment every other, if not, every day drinking expensive yuppie coffee - even if you are just using their bathroom to refill a cup you got from them four weeks ago just so it looks like you purchased something new. Remember, it's all about perception.

And most importantly.

4) Never take any advice from an internet blog. This is a 'blog', not the New Yorker. Why would a successful person write anything on the internet! Jeez, have I taught you nothing?